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Anshul JainJuly 13 Why are we so judgemental?I was coming out of elevator at my work place some days back and I saw a person standing there in the lobby. The person was short and stout and almost looked like a football. This thought brought the smile to my face and while I was busy with my imagination, I saw the person looking back at me with the why-are-you-smiling stare. I do not know if the person knew that I was smiling at him or not but it sure did make me feel bad about myself.
I started wondering if it was appropriate of me to do what I did. I was seeing the person the first time, but that didn’t stop me from making fun of his physical appearances. Just a little observation later I realized that not only him but every single person I meet and see I was forming opinions about. From “he seems like a nice person” to “he seems a little arrogant” to “may be he is not so arrogant after all!” my mind kept switching from one conclusion to another. A friend of mine would be in my good-book for sometime and in not-so-good-book the other time. I keep playing this cat and the mouse game with every single person I am associated with, and to my surprise, even with the people I have known all my life.
My mind is constantly judging every single action of the person, while it is waiting to update the opinion. This led me to wonder, if the person really changes, or the only thing that changes is my opinion?
I am certain I haven’t stopped judging, but at least now I know I am judgmental! October 25 Whose opinion matters?I was talking to a friend of mine the other day regarding a meditation program I was interested to attend. My friend was advising me to take it easy but I was quite determined to attend it, and I did. A month or two later for another such meditation program the same friend of mine started persuading me to attend the program where as this time I wasn't willing to. My friend's advice to me has changed this time within a short period of time and that left me puzzled. I wasn't sure if I should have listened to him the first time and missed the event or I should listen to him now and attend the program. If I listen to him now, what is the guarantee that his opinion wouldn't change again in future. Our opinions are nothing but a direct outcome of our past experiences and current state of mind. With each passing moment we learn new things and as a result our intelligence gets updated. With the updated intelligence and experience our opinions are bound to change as well. If there is every possibility for a person's opinion to change, what is the basis for one to rely on some one else's opinions? And if our own opinions are bound to change as well should we rely even on ourselves? October 23 Why should we strive to be unique?The other day I was trying to buy a wedding dress for my self and somehow all the dresses I saw seemed very commonplace to me. I was looking for something more unique. After spending a good deal of time conversing with my family, talking to my sister and brother-in-law and visiting various websites for designs, I got to thinking why am I looking to buy something unique.
Why do we want to stand out in the crowd? Why do we want unique clothes, an exclusive car and an extraordinary house? Is it because of the feel-good factor when people tell us that our dress is different our car is different and admire it? If that is case then why are we so dependent on others to make us feel good about ourselves? Or, is it because we just want to feel good about our own uniqueness?
If we look at at it from the spiritual view point we will find out that it is exact opposite of what we should be doing! The whole idea of self-realization I thought was to loose our self, loose our ego and the loose our notion of I. On the other hand we are increasing our attachment to I by trying to stand out. Now the question is, whether we should care about it only if we are on spiritual path or should we in any case try to find a moment or two and look deep inside us and find out what is it that we are really trying to achieve by trying to be unique in any possible way?
Finally, the question is why are we so afraid of being another Tom, Dick or Harry? 15 Park AvenueFew days ago I was watching one of the Aparna Sen’s movie, 15 Park Avenue. The movie is about a delusional girl who gets these hallucinations that she is married and has five kids. In the movie, the doctor who was attending to her said something really though provoking to this girl’s sister when she asked the doctor how real her delusions are. The doctor said that her delusions are as real to her as this world seems real to us. The doctor asked her this question that what if, what she sees as a candle is seen as a flower vase by everyone around the room, would she still say that it is a candle. |
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